Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.

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(716): i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy. http://tfl.nu/q9at

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?

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(603): So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me" (1-603): Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole? http://tfl.nu/54bk

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(308): View more from Nebraska

It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

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(308): It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail. http://tfl.nu/m40v

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there

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(515): I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there http://tfl.nu/h3ha

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(214): View more from Texas

The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.

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(214): The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it. http://tfl.nu/df00

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(217): View more from Illinois

i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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(217): i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood. http://tfl.nu/a0o1

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(903): View more from Texas

Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe

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(903): Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe http://tfl.nu/shgh

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line

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(401): Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line http://tfl.nu/kpx6

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(954): View more from Florida

I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

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(954): I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter. http://tfl.nu/57tz

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(650): View more from California

So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back

(971): View more from Oregon

You should go to counseling for that

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(650): So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back (971): You should go to counseling for that http://tfl.nu/q4bf

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(936): View more from Texas

If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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(936): If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way. http://tfl.nu/i55j

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"

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(306): I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth" http://tfl.nu/c8fv

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.

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(617): The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library. http://tfl.nu/8dpw

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(360): View more from Washington

A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.

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(360): A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy. http://tfl.nu/2450

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure

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(787): I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure http://tfl.nu/bq2q

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