It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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