The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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