just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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