just tell him i said nine months
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We left the knife in your bed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
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