Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize