Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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