There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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