I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize