i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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