I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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