oh god the rape fog is back!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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