He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
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it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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