i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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