smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
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I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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