He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
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My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
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Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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