i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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