just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize