whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize