Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize