he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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