i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize