In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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