Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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