every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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