Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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