i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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