I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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