So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize