Dual....:-)
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize