Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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