The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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