That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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