One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You are the jesus of drinking
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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