Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
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So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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