Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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