where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize