just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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