I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize