p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we made out on top of his cat.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
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i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize