She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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