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you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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