His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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