I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
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Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize