i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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