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I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
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