Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize