you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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