Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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