I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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